How to Make Big Decisions with Jewish Wisdom
How do you know if you are making the “right” choice?
Big decisions — whether about a career change, a move, or a relationship, can often feel overwhelming. Often, it’s not the choice itself but the fear of the unknown aftermath that keeps us stuck in analysis paralysis—or worse, a mind-numbing Netflix binge. How can you trust yourself to get it “right”?
As Jews, our tradition offers timeless wisdom to help navigate even the most modern dilemmas. Through Jewish values and practices, we can approach decision-making with clarity, courage, and intention.
1. Shiv’im Panim LaTorah: Embrace Multiple Perspectives
The phrase Shiv’im Panim LaTorah teaches that there are "70 faces of the Torah" — many valid interpretations of our sacred texts. This principle encapsulates not only the commentaries that enrich Jewish tradition but also the fresh eyes with which we approach the same stories at different times in our lives.
This wisdom reminds us that decisions are rarely black-and-white or cut-and-dry. Yet, when faced with a big decision, the voice in our heads becomes our parents’, imagining every possible disaster (do you know how many articles about shark attacks I received when I first started surfing?). This instinct serves to protect us, helping us anticipate danger, but how often do we pause to consider all of the ways that something might go right?
By exploring multiple perspectives, we can move beyond fear and open ourselves up to greater possibilities.
When faced with a big decision, create a list of perspectives:
How would your future self feel about this choice?
What would your best friend say? Your inner critic?
What if everything worked out better than you’ve previously imagined?
By examining these angles, you gain a fuller picture of the decision at hand — and with it, a sense of possibility, confidence, and excitement for what lies ahead.
2. Hitbodedut: Find Time for Reflection
Have you heard of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, a great-great-grandson of the Baal Shem Tov? He’s worth getting to know because he made talking to God accessible to the average Jew. He encouraged a practice called hitbodedut, which is essentially having a private, heart-to-heart conversation with God. Can’t speak Hebrew? Rabbi Nachman says use your native tongue. This practice has been described as chatting with God like you would with your best friend, and Nachman himself referred to it as 'meditation' long before the term became mainstream—so naturally, that drew me in.
Whether you prefer to speak directly to God, pour your heart out in a journal, or declare your intentions to the Universe, the essence is the same: creating intentional solitude. Hitbodedut offers a sacred space to untangle your thoughts and hear your inner wisdom. We have to create space for clarity to emerge.
Try this:
Dedicate 15–30 minutes to reflective practice (if you’re new, 5 minutes is a great start!).
Find a quiet space — sit in nature or on a comfortable cushion or chair.
Imagine sitting under a canopy of stars or walking through a quiet forest, voicing your thoughts to a trusted friend. Journal your thoughts or speak out loud about your dilemma.
Let your thoughts flow without judgment or censorship.
You may be surprised by the clarity and insight that arise when you create a space to truly listen.
3. Tikkun Olam: Consider the Impact Beyond Yourself
The Jewish value of Tikkun Olam — repairing the world — invites us to think beyond ourselves. It asks us to consider how our actions affect others and contribute to the greater good.
Big decisions rarely exist in isolation. Like a single stone sending ripples across a pond, our choices can affect not just our health, wealth, and relationships but also the broader community. When we approach decisions with this perspective, we create the opportunity for growth that benefits not just ourselves, but those around us.
To imagine the ripple effect of your decision, ask yourself the following questions:
How will this choice contribute to my personal growth?
If I grew in this way, how might it impact my career, finances, or future opportunities?
How could it impact my health and overall well-being?
What impact might it have on my loved ones or inner circle?
How might my growth create positive change in my community or beyond?
By balancing your own needs with the greater impact of your choices, you can make decisions that reflect your core values and ripple outward in ways that uplift those around you.
4. Minyan Mentality: Seek Support in Community
In Judaism, a minyan (a quorum of 10) is required for communal prayer. This reflects the idea that some of life’s most significant moments are best navigated in community. When making a big decision, seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a coach can provide the clarity and encouragement you need.
Give this a try:
Choose two or three people whose wisdom you value.
Share your dilemma and listen to their perspectives.
Notice how their feedback lands for you both mentally and physically.
Sometimes, others can see our blind spots and help us make decisions with more confidence. Opening up to trusted individuals about your dilemma may feel vulnerable, but their insights can help you determine how you truly feel and bolster your confidence.
5. Lech Lecha: Trust Your Journey
The Torah tells us that when God commanded Abraham to leave his homeland, the words used were Lech Lecha — "go to yourself." This story reminds us that big decisions often bear uncertainty, but they also present opportunities to step into a truer version of ourselves.
Reflect on this question:
What decision feels most authentic to who I am and who I want to become?
Even if the path ahead feels uncertain, trust that each step forward will bring clarity and guide you toward your destination. Remember, humans were once able to survive without Google Maps. You may not have all the answers now, but by taking one step forward, you’ll build the path as you go.
Making Decisions with Intention and Confidence
Jewish wisdom reminds us that we have the tools to navigate life’s uncertainties with courage and intention. By embracing multiple perspectives, reflecting in solitude, considering the ripple effect, seeking community support, and trusting the journey, we can make decisions that align with our values and lead us toward growth and fulfillment.
At L’Chaim Life Coaching, I help Jewish individuals like you navigate life’s crossroads with clarity and confidence. Together, we can uncover what’s holding you back, explore the paths ahead, and align your decisions with your values and aspirations.
Ready to take the next step? Let’s schmooze! Schedule your free session today.
L’Chaim! To your growth, your journey, and your decisions.
